I just cant believe its the same person. Im truly heartbroken. Meanwhile he wanted to go out with his friends after work and have few drinks. The kids are with her in the parents house. No one is perfect, but Its not you. My friends have brilliant in all this and Im starting to feel like in time I will get over this but the hurt is sometimes unbearable. Good luck if you think this fits him. there never will be. There are many of us going through the same thing and you have a support network of people to reach out to for coffee, chats, friendships, even just to read stories and ask questions or know you are doing a great job. Very true unfortunately people have no gratitude and are not satisfied with what they have only look at what they dont, Grass always greener on the other side and want what others have got even if that destroys there own lives or someone elses. Could it be me? If you didnt it wouldnt be human. My wife and friend are not really communicating and when they said they wanted to be friends I think they wanted amicable aquanties. Hi Robert! Protect yourself. We did counselling were he was told he had: PTSD and depression- of course there was nothing wrong with him. I found a job making less money but I manage. Be strong for yourself and for your kids. I have the greatest respect for those who endure the bad times and work to resolve and remedy their challenges. In his mind he asked for emotions and he asked for love and he didnt get it for me. We will pay 25 for every Letter to (please write about 600-700 words), Playlist, Snapshot or We Love to Eat we publish. To this day I am sure she placed them there knowing I was coming. Maybee we can find a way to keep in contact if youd like to talk more. She says she wants to live by herself with her 3 kids cause they are better off without me. But, it seems like that is when he is most truthful and that he is just waiting for our 13 year to grow up so that he can feel better about divorcing me. You might have understandable reasons to be mentally composing your packing list. Well me and my wife had problems and being in a job that moves me for months at a time doesnt help. I haven't eaten or slept roperly in 2 weeks. I started loving my wife when I was 15. We are happy to provide resources, but please know that our site is not meant to be a substitute for professional mental health or relationship help. I feel like having the high moral ground vindicates me but the article recommends not using it. But I am distracted by my mothers illness. Getting in touch with a professional relationship coach is one of the best things you can do in order to start taking care of yourself and living a fulfilling and happy life. I realize you don't know me. He stopped saying i love you or acted although it was painful to say. She misses her girls and she feels her siblings and their partners treat her and look at her differently. Thats were the acceptance came into play . By the way Don how do you meet people on line? Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but it doesnt work that way. Now he says its completely over but I dnt know if I can trust him. When everyone had left he told me how much he loved me , how proud he was of me. After it finally sunk in that the man I thought Id married was obviously not and whats more he wasnt even trying to cover up or be nice any more. Seringes in trash can seringe wrappers in garage or in her car. Well five years ago when our son was a freshman in highschool I received a phone call from him he sounded like he was in a state of shock. How do I keep my self-esteem high when Im going through this? Dont believe it. I dont know what makes it better. 8. A girl who is blinded by love. And I want you to know that its not impossible. Im heartbroken and sad for out two boys who love him so much. This isnt him. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It took me 27 years to realize I had married a narcissist . Because i was not dressed for it and i am not comfortable with my body. I hurt my back at work and was off then went back she just finished college at this point, she got a job and then I found out I had a prostate problem, so I had a cathador in for a while and again was off work, at this point we were still getting things caught up. Long story short we got back together. If you would like to consult with a mental health professional, please feel free to return to our homepage, https://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. I cannot tell you how many exs I have that say they never believed I would ever leave. It is a very bizarre and humbling feeling. My mom is sick. Only her family and closest friends knew she was actually dealing with a devastating situation that is all too familiar to . You are trying so hard and are not getting the appreciation you deserve. They will keep you occupied to not think about how bad you feel, at least some of the time. She went off to Arizona to stay with friends and get away from me. Same happen to me when my husband left me but with the great help of great mutaba my husband came back to me. If I do what you want, you say I am only doing it because you told me to.". Hes 45 yo, 21 years married. In the same boat. Scharnett-King warns this rarely works out. You could argue that all long-term relationships lose their spark, but falling out of love usually is code for Im done here. While there are cases in which couples fall back in love, most often its hard to renew this emotional connection. If a man is wondering, looking, you can almost bet he is cheating. It doesnt matter what they look like, the color of their skin, or the gender they identify with. Ok, judas. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for 6 years. I never had a clue and so I could not understand her response. He was messing with a female on his ship one pay grade lower and still got away with it. I am missing a lot more but this story is long enough as it is. She never wanted to make it more difficult then it already was for her children. This story was written by Niamh Tracey of Dublin, Ireland. Right now you need to make the correct decisions for you and only you. Love to hear feedback, please comments welcome. Coming back from an affair is possible, but most often the trust is severed and cannot be recovered. I guess working 2 jobs and taking care of the kids and the house. Also my ex husband stole 25k. Just found out my husband of almost 9 years is cheating on me online with a gay person. I did what every online blog said not to do. it was so bad I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks.I couldnt work,lost all interest and no motivation I couldnt function .the grief and depression was so overwhelming I had to be hospitalized.Im currently getting therapy, and counseling for my grief and depression.but it still does not answer the question, why? She left and went there dad and sister tree planting mothers. Im not sure what exactly he was looking for, perhaps just being very emotionally transparent on an every day basis? I did offer that he gets help but of course it was nothing wrong with him. everyday i see her in college she will be busy with someother boys so kindly assist me, how to move on without her. My children were now being brainwashed into believing I left then for this new woman as well as a few of her not so close friends. His response was that he thought about it and couldnt go through with it because he couldnt hurt me. I had also convinced myself that her and the neighbour had had sex rather than just touching. We told her, No, we havent noticed. She simply said, Well, he does, and walked straight out of the room. Then in 2014 it got really bad . Lou, I wish I could meet one of these women in here going through all this pain and sweep them off their feet. And I cant get past feeling devastated, crying when Im alone after work until I go to bed. That word has been gone for a long time. I want to move back to Florida and i just dont think its worth us fighting to save the marriage anymore. This is often the most painful reason for a leaving, but its also sometimes the easiest to accept. I know he made some mistakes, but that doesnt mean that you have to live with them. I am beyond hurt. We got a house then tried for another baby. Wishing you the best, Love is blind, but Im not so blind any more. There was an excuse for every red flag that had shown up through the many years with the women whos emails he left open on his desk top , always the needy type in a bad relationship sad lonely women who fell for his charms (like he is some credible marriage guidance councellor haha ! ) Note to self, pay more attention, and get reliable input from friends and family. Apostle Paul said we humans face the test of times because we are like animals. Constantly points out my flaws and still shows no remorse at all for the horrific things she has done to our family. The truth hurts us, but it also helps us to move on quicker. It doesnt take much, all it takes is a little time and effort to help you get through this hard time. 50 steps to see your kid and she couldnt be bothered, now I really lose faith. I feel blessed every day just to have what I have, even in this situation at least I have two beautiful kids. My husband did the same thing to me. Last medically reviewed on October 20, 2022. Or he /she is crazy!!! My wife of 14 total, 11 married just is done. Ive been single for almost two years now and I will be for a while longer. I hope to find a better job and will be the best dad I can be to my kids. I received deployment orders to head to Africa for a rapid response unit to help combat the Ebola virus and contain it by building ETU facilities. If you have low self-esteem, your man might lose respect for you and feel like he doesnt honor you anymore. I took very care for her than I took for anybody else. I take the kids every weekend. She said that she doesnt want my money.But Im sorry but it is pretty hard to trust her after what she has done.I still love her,after all we have been together for almost 28 yrs. Terrific article, and do agree as my special area is helping couples reignite that passion, trust, desire. Just pity those who fall for his charm in believing in him its only a matter of time before they will find how false he is . Scripture adds. I dont know how to break out and go figure, yes constantly telling me hes going to divorce me. Online forums are places where people come together to share their experiences with one another. And it may never happen. I need me time. Then I found out that she had actually gone away with her ex husband, and our daughter slept at a friends house to make it look good. She told me she left me for four of the reasons you mentioned. I cry every night of the pain I feel. Samantha is 30 years old, looks 3 years younger. Has anyone given you a chance to tell your side of the story? My wife and I have a 2 year old son. We can, for sure, take this as a learning experience about ourselves and our relationship needs. You have kids? So how do you know that a mental illness is there? That aside Ive been really good to her and treating her as if I just met her but that has not resonated with her. This I also discovered. Jackie I feel your pain as you know my situation. Not knowing how to express their feelings safely, they may, in turn, leave as a means of avoidance. Everyone says it gets better but I can see myself 19 years from now crying and asking why as well. Three years ago, when Carol Moffa divorced her husband after, she says, putting up with a lot of "crap" over the years, she was downright scared. Thank you all for being so brave, you have blazed a trail for me to follow. Build yourself back up. No no no! From my perspective your husband saying that he is not happy could mean several things: 1. I rent a room now after owningy castle. They have always talked and been friends through this whole separation. For me, this is still a very difficult situation to get through. Well one month into my overseas job that was just for 18 monthsshe told me she was leaving me after the financing on the new house fell through. It must be hard especially having little ones. Its been hard. He was mean, angry and a totally crazy. I am devastated, cant eat, have a pain inside me, dont want anyone to know and have always thought we would be together forever. I caught her having phone sex with a boyfriend from 40 years ago. There isnt anything you can do to change the past and make him stay with you. As a couple, its a very TOXIC relationship , the best one can do is to GET OUT and have NO CONTACT. When she fills my waking hours and drifts effortlessly through my thoughts a hundred times a day, she is my love, my heart. Being married to someone who puts in a lot of time at work isn't always negative. Help is available, and we wish you the best of luck in your search. Guilt that your children have a mentally ill parent that you can . So sad .. Hi Susan how is your leg? I honestly thought she would grow up over the years or I could save her. Wife of 17 years left 4mos ago. The only items I had were a bag of clothes and a computer. After thirty years it was very abruptly gone: torch extinguished. If there is another woman hes talking to you probably want to know that sooner than later so dont be afraid to confront him on it. When he returned he agreed to go to marriage counseling. They might even join in on helping you through this by giving comfort or simply laughing with you at how messed up your marriage is now. Needless to say that this same man left and is livng with someone else (who I believe is his ex). I froze that moment then 6 years later I was traumatized again. Cant sleep without sleeping pills or wine. The obvious answer is he is sleeping with the friend. And once you get through this, youre going to feel like a brand new woman. I am just wondering something just seems very off. My ex husband was in the house until the divorce papers dictated his date of departure . Or when it is convenient. I just dont know if I should let her go and TRY to move on or keep fighting for her. I feel now I am stuck either serving my x to her wishes just to see my children but never afford it. We have always gotten along great,In every way,always had fun together.The good times outnumber the bad. Hatred is not something u do to someone u love, even I know this. I was with someone for 24 years hard-working man entry bands and we went distance are both ways we were living like roommates after while he left me once it records me to claim bankruptcy then he left me October 22 for married woman he was trying to have a relationship it ended in March hes heartbroken he wrote a nasty letter to me pieces he wants out the relationship hes not love with me but he loves me Im going through psychotherapy Lost a lot of weight and I love him I figured keeping away and not pushing him its okay according to the cycle therapist dont know what to do at this point charge when youre 69 and someone leaves you like this I did everything for him that he became a liar and sneak and a cheater so was told by the clairvoyant dont now well I can do is sit back and told him if you want me to come to the band you call me up its eight months hes gone but only two munchies over that girl now it goes online and he looks for women even looked at my webpage I blocked them I think hes doing this to spite me to show we can look for somebody else all he wants is companion to cook for him do his clothes and clean his house Im never find it all I can do is take a day at a time. Life can throw some major challenges your way. No one else will ever understand my journey or experience, because it does not sound right or possible, but it happened. When I have been upset and called to to him he has been very cold and mean.telling me he hated being in a relationship with hated being a family and so on. My husband of 10yrs left me, said he didnt live me anymore. Darkest days of my life. I stuck a fork in it, took a picture and called it therapy.! Please help? They got a place July 3. I love him and miss him so much. You don't feel understood. He does almost everything anyone in their 60s would do. He probably misses the way things used to be. I should acknowledge I don't know the details. I read somewhere that narcsassists will never loose any sleep over our pain . Her head kept onto the tear-soaked pillow feels like bursting with pain while she thinks about why her husband left her for another woman. Put me down controlled me ..I Was a walking living breathing definition of a battered husband. And it would show your wife youre trying still. I am loosing my home in a few weeks because im disabled and she was the breadwinner. I did however have enough control of my wits to get a lawyer and try to speak for my innocence in court. I have never felt so humiliated in all my life. Breaking up is hard and can be hell!!!!! The same applies to young men who can be fooled by a charming female sociopath/narcissist. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. I wish it on no one.. Praying for you Wayne as I hope you pray for me.. Miracles still happened.. We fell apart in every way possible. When I cheated on my husband, I might have liked to pretend it was just about sex, but if I was being honest, I knew it wasn't. It's not always about the other person. And moved in with one of our daughters (the mother of our grand babies) he stayed six weeks before her husband couldnt take it any more. She sounds like shes crazy now. Dont you think you deserve better than that???? Keep me posted on how things are going for you. That describes my husband exactly and I get sucked into thinking its my fault. This other guys life probably seems fresh and new, problem free, sexually attentive and like a vacation from her life. For the best part of a week I thought he wanted space. Can you imagine getting kicked out of your home and your husband moves someone else in and they go through your things, even my Breast Cancer medical records trying to say I could work because I survived, Im 60 and have worked since 1969!! I believe I have behaved exemplary throughout and my heart is broken. My name is Jon,and a few weeks ago when my wife and i were celebrating our birthdays in Chicago,she told me that she was leaving me and moving to California to live with some guy she met on the internet.My wife sufers from Fibromyalgia,depression. Hope youre finding a healthy way to pass the time and keep it great for you. Like said I get it, HIS fav team stuff all over drinking glasses and mugs. My original post would have sounded very similar to yours here. And I knew that deep down inside my pysche I had unresolved issues or aftereffects of the early abuse, and the damage to my self that had never been repaired, let alone looked at. It feels better to chat about it, too know others are going through the same thing & it does suck. There is those who love and care for others so much and are waiting for others like us to come in their lives. If we move, he doesnt want to stay in the state but, the kind of small town where he would be happy generally has no work which in my view is not a win/win. Do not let them win. On a recent vacation she screamed at a elderly relative proclaiming them evil for drinking a glass of wine. Permission to publish granted by Andra Brosh, PhD. He will go the same thing to someone else- no worries. We have an 18 month old boy as well. I just cant believe how active this board appears with people who are going through this. He also had a cop come stand by when he got his stuff from the house . I wonder if he's OK. She explains its natural to feel guilt, as its the bodys way of making sense of something unfathomable. "My husband left me because he was unhappy" can be a common thought when you're struggling with such abandonment. And what they are now compared to who they were before. We met at school and Im not ready for what happened, she just left for our friend. Also found a stack of dram idol vyles under bathroom sink. It was truly a mistake. Let him know you are very serious and you have reached your breaking point. I didnt like the use of pronouns on this articlehe feels unappreciated, she met someone else, he doesnt love you anymore. *they need to take some time for themselves 3. Well the local man who wrecked his own marriage got to her and then she was after him. We had a wonderful wedding Believe, shell want you back. Does he love her more then me? Im living the same right now married 12 years and 2 kids 9 and 11 yrs old. article. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. Individuals who lost 5 percent of their body weight over the course of four years were more likely to feel depressed . Sure, you will have good days and bad days, I still get those, but they are now few and far between. We both work but I always brought home more income. thanks for this im in this kind of situation right now.. On new years eve my fiance left thee house. He could turn on a tear and look remorseful but wouldnt answer if I said to him , I can get through anything if I know that you love me he would milk all my tears until we both turned defensive and would turn it round to irritation accusing me of mistrust in doubting him . I cant believe the hell youre going through. 5. And will try to stay her friend.

Swansea Ma Police Scanner, When A Guy Says You Taste Good Down There, Dazzling Cleaning Customer Service, Antique Cedar Chest Manufacturers, Articles M